Frelling Dingleberry Recruiters

This is a full blown core dump, and not the sort which just got you dropped back at the command prompt, but one which in the old days would have the printer console go nuts with the BRRZT…BRRZT…BRRZT… as line after line of information on registers, stack and all filled a page or two of paper. And here is what prompted it:

Hi Douglas

This is Afria from *REDACTED*, I came across your resume in my database and wanted to share the latest positions with you. Please read the Job details below & get back to me if you are interested in this position.

Position: Applications Programmer (Senior Java/Angular Developer).
Location: 750 East Pratt Street, 6th Floor, Baltimore, MD
Duration: 4 Years.
Complete Description:
MHBE seeks Applications Programmer (Senior Java/Angular Developers) to support the MHBE. The Applications Programmer will be responsible for understanding, defining, analyzing, coding, evaluating, testing, debugging, documenting, and implementing complex software applications for the development and maintenance of the Maryland Health Benefit Exchange (HBX) and related systems.
Design, develop, maintain and support enterprise applications in Java/J2EE under the HBX technological platform utilizing open-source driven Java EE architecture, Angular JS, HTML, Struts, Spring, Hibernate, RESTful API, and JBoss Enterprise Platform.
Interface with business and IT teams to understand and translate business requirements into formal technical requirements and application code.
Develop and execute quality unit test and integration plans/scripts to validate that application changes meet technical specifications.
Work with testing team and business teams to complete acceptance testing and participate in integration testing.
Participate in technical reviews at appropriate stages of software and application development.
Adhere to all security, Project Management Office (PMO) change control, work management and service delivery policies, processes, tools and methodologies.
Note: The candidate must have the flexibility to work overtime, as needed, to include weekends, holidays, and off-hours.
Minimum Qualifications:
Ability to create efficient and effective Nintex & SP Designer Workflows for very large libraries 7 Year’s Experience Required.
Experience storing many Terabytes of data in SharePoint 7 Year’s Experience Required.
Style, Create, Configure and update out of the box SharePoint sites, pages, lists & libraries, content types and via Web UI & SP Designer 7 Year’s Experience Required.
Ability to query SharePoint with CSOM and Rest services from Client-Side Code (JSOM/CSOM/JavaScript) 7 Year’s Experience Required.
Experience with CMIS (Content Management Interoperability Services) and SharePoint. Experience with InputAccel 7 Year’s Experience Required.
Experience defining/maintaining SharePoint information architecture, managed metadata, term sets, content type hub and site security with AD groups 7 Year’s Experience Required.
Preferred Qualifications:
A minimum of ten (10) years of experience in in Java/J2EE, JavaScript, JSP, Servlets, Struts 2.0, Spring, Hibernate and Web Services.
Experience in application security scanner software like Veracode, AppScan and Fortify.
Proven experience in build and deployment processes and tools such as Maven, ANT and Jenkins.
Experience working with PostgreSQL database and SQL Stored Procedures.
Strong knowledge and hands-on experience of a minimum of two (2) years of experience in Angular JS.
Knowledge of Micro Service Architecture.
Proven ability to work with and build and maintain strong relationships with technical teams.
Working knowledge of organizational change management principles, methodologies and tools. 
Familiarity with various traditional and innovative project management approaches, tools and phases of the project lifecycle.
Knowledge and/or experience with Agile software development practices.
Experience with the State Based Marketplace solutions or Federally Facilitated Marketplace (FFM) solutions.
Experience with managing multiple project priorities under tight deadlines.
Experience working with the Project Management Office (PMO) processes, policies and procedures.

Looking forward to hearing you.
Thank You.
Arifa *redacted*
Staffing Manager
(remainder redacted)

Generally, these just get flagged as spam, if they make it through. But TWO back to back from the same “individual”, for the same exact position… and then that position is for SharePoint (.NET) and Java… TWO SKILLS WHICH ARE NOWHERE ON MY RESUME!!! I’m sorry, but that is walking up to the hornet’s nest in your underwear, grabbing it off the branch, tossing it to the ground and then stomping on it in your bare feet. Or for those of you who enjoy hockey… that is going up to the ref and high sticking them across the throat, followed with a stick to the groin. Not only do you get your entire agency’s domain reported for spam, you get called out damn near 100% publically. Such messages leave me wondering things like…

  • Did you even bother to read my resume?
  • Do you even know computers in a technical way, or are you barely able to turn one on?

This actually appears to be an instance where some recruiting firm subcontracted out to a firm, likely in a location such as Mumbai or Bengaluru but with an “office” in some complex here in the states, to go through job sites harvesting names and sending them out, trying to get people to respond… in effect firing a shotgun as the wall of a barn to try to hit the few horseflies (and you run the risk of hitting any livestock or the odd hornets nest in the vicinity). And often, these are the same firms which call me, are sometimes very high pressure, and where I can barely understand them. Overall, the quality of their work reflects poorly upon the companies which use them to reach out, as well as upon the companies which ultimately have the job which needs to be filled. It reflects a “cheapness” which has made entire nations a laughing stock over the course of my lifetime. But, lest we forget, it also reflects a philosophy which has been taught to countless MBAs over the past three to four decades… the idea of Stockholder Supremacy… where if you can cut corners, quality and the like to give a few more pennies per share to the stockholder, you must do it. Its the same ideology which has companies wanting people with 20 years of experience at the entry level compensation of say Raleigh-Durham, but in DC or NYC…. you are not going to get a developer who has 20 years experience and knows what they are doing for $54K in those places, so why bother???!!!

And so, this place gets 20 minutes of my time, and rather than my just clicking the “Spam” button, I also add a filter that says that any email from their entire domain is spam, along with me sending a message along to the folks who maintain the spam lists… because when I was joining the effort to build what we today call “the Internet”, putting hosts to bring the total count closer to 1000… this is not what we had in mind, where more and more would believe things like the world being flat. ***SIGH***